David got a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and a dreadful vocabulary. Every other word was naughty or rude. David tried very hard to change the bird's manners. David would always say polite words, play soft music-anything he could possibly think of to set a good axemple, but nothing worked. David was getting really frustrated. He yelled at the bird, and the bird got worse. He shook the bird, and the bird got angrier and even more rude. One day, David felt so desperate that that he picked the parrot up and put it in the freezer. for a few moments he heard the bird squawking and flapping: then suddenly everything was quiet. David was worried that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David't arm and said, "I am so sorry that I ahve offended you with my language and actions.and I beg for you forgiveness. I will try to corrent my behavior. David was amazed at the great change in the bird and was about to ask what caused it when the parrot continued, "My I ask what the chicken did?"
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey lady! your really ugly!" The lady was angry but continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again, and the parrot once more said, "Hey lady! your really ugly!" She was enraged now, so she went into the store and said that she wanted the bird disposed of. The store manager apologized profusely and promised that he would make sure the parrot would'nt say it again. The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey lady!" it said. "Yes?" "You know."
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher stopped working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment, and since she was to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the doormat. Please repair the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I will mail you a check. By the way, I have a large Rottweiler inside named Killer. He won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and what ever you do, make certain you do not talk to the bird!" Well, sure anough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot yelled and screamed, about driving him crazy. As he was ready to leave, he just couldn't help himself. He looked at the bird and said, "You have annoyed me all morning. Be quiet!" To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!"
I hope you enjoyed the jokes! I'll be writing some soon. =]]
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